i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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