Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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