is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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