Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
