YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
