He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
