I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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