ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
