I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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