I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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