dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
