She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
