wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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