How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
