Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
