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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
