im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
