Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
