i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
