I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize