Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she smelled like a LAN party
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
