i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
so much tequila, so little girl.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
