U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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