look no pants
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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