Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
