There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
