I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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