Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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