The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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