i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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