And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sext me about skeletons
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
