the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
