I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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