if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My vagina is officially offended.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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