I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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