I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize