I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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