he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
