just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
