you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
