I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
