My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
