we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
