I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you would pick up someone in the library
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
