shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
