This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
