Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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