to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
