NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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