Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
