Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
