dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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