my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
