we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
