My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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