Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
