I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
