my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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