This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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