i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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