I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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