I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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