you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
