big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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