I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think a kid would responsible me up
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
