wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
