do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
