Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
