I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
